The issues weren’t, anything new, but they were out of control. No matter what I said to him, he refused to work with me in raising the children. I ended up taking him back to court. This is what happened….
The first contempt hearing was thrown out on both sides. My attorney was terrible, and I quickly learned I needed a new attorney. So, I found a great one, who I totally connected with. One day, after a visit with their father, my children were home and my daughter told me her vagina hurt.
I assumed she had fallen on the monkey bars or something to that effect. I asked her what she meant. She explained that it hurt and was red. When I asked her to see, I was horrified by what I saw. She wasn’t just red, her vagina was raw and there were areas where it looked like the skin had been burned off.
My hands were shaking and I could barely think when I asked her what happened. She explained that her half-sister put some lotion on her and it burned. She also said she had inserted a string into her vagina. She told me they were playing a game in the bathroom, but it hurt her and she wouldn’t stop when my daughter told her it hurt. I grabbed my camera and took pictures and immediately made three phone calls.
First, I called her pediatrician to have her looked at; he explained he wanted to see her at the end of the day so he could spend more time with her. Next, I called her therapist, and an emergency appointment was set up for the following morning. I told him I didn’t know if she was telling me the truth, but obviously something had happened, and we needed to get to the bottom of it before accusations were made. The third call was to my attorney at home. She suggested I not call the father until after we had more information. We didn’t want to go around making false accusations.
The therapist concluded that she was telling the truth. There were several things that now made sense…her urinating on herself before visits to her father, her anxiety and her depression. The pediatrician concluded that some type of sexual abuse took place and call Children’s Protective Services. My attorney called for an emergency hearing to suspend visits for my kids to be with their half-siblings. It was granted.
No mother wants to hear that their child was abused in any sort of way and I did not want to believe that her half-sister could do this to her. But, why would she lie and how come her story of what happened never changed? My daughter had to have a vaginal exam…at the age of 6. It was terrible. I have never cried so much in my life.
CPS came back inconclusive, because the girl who did it was coached and said things that a 12 year old girl would not know what to say. I don’t blame her mother or my ex for coaching her, if I were in their position I would do the same.
It was close to 18 months before the children were back together, and before that happened, there were therapy sessions to be had with all them together and individually. By the time the courts ruled that they were to be back together, my daughter was not close to 8 and I knew she could protect herself and not let anyone touch her inappropriately again. It was not what I wanted, but I had no choice, as the Judge had made her decision.
I was asked by a police officer if they wanted me to have the girl in question arrested. I said no. I didn’t know if she did it and if she did it was not sexually based, but to hurt my daughter. And, it wasn’t about my daughter, but anger at me taken out on her. I wanted her to get help, which she never did.
To this day, I have never accused this girl of anything. I have never said she did anything. Everything came from my child, who I had to believe. I couldn’t NOT believe what she was saying. It was a devastating time for me and my daughter still has issues today and does not have a close relationship with this sister.
Why am I writing about this? Because my ex’s wife insists that I cooked up these allegations to feed some type of pathology she insists that I have. She has written about it on her blog. You can find the link here. Note she has decided to make her blog a member’s only site. I wonder if she realized what she did was wrong? Either way, she has decided to make it her pet project to ruin my life any way she can, and I am not going to allow that to happen.
She talks of the truth coming out. Well, this is the truth. I told my attorney I did not want it to go to CPS. I wanted to just take my daughter away and protect her forever. But, I did not have a choice. The doctor told me had to report it, even though I asked him not to.
I am not this evil person she wants me to be, or thinks I am. What happened that night, which no one will ever know about, except my daughter and her half sister, will be a mystery to me and to her. But, my daughter is becoming her own person and every day I see this new person before me blossoming and growing, laughing and smiling and I am just so relieved that she is able to do that.
This is not a story that should have ever gone public. This is something that is private that this woman decided to share with the internet. What you put out here can not be taken back. She took a private and very difficult time for my daughter and made it out to be something that we lied about intentionally to make win in court. There were no winners in that courtroom, period. I am telling the story so my daughter can look back at this and feel love and not hate if she ever runs across that site. What I care about are my children. That they are safe cared for and loved. Wouldn’t you want the same for yours? And would you do the same if you were in my shoes?