Baggage: One Size Does Not Fit All

When it comes to baggage, we all have it.  But, it is how you handle it that counts.  I have been thinking a lot about excess baggage and how to downsize, but for the purposes of this article, I have presented you with a handy guide to use to evaluate the size of your bags.

The 18 incher: This small suitcase is fairly light. There are pockets to store things, such as anger and resentment. Not quite big enough to stuff an ex in, it is still very handy for those little tantrums that you might occasionally throw just because.

The 20 incher: This nice case is a bit bigger. For a larger neurosis, such as overeating or under eating, couch potatoing, OCDing or ADDing this bag could be the right size for you!

The 22 incher: Need some Valium? Xanex? Lithium? Then this is the bag for you. Lots of space to store those extra needed meds, as well as the bills from the therapists that keep piling up.

The 24 incher: This is the baggage that starts to get interesting. From cheating to cheating, all the excess panties and condoms can fit in this handy bag. Did you swindle someone out of something, put it in this bag and watch how easily it can still close!

The 26 incher: There is some room to stretch in this piece of luggage. Family got you down? Mother irritating you? Grab a drink and lock up what’s troubling you inside this beauty and you are ready to travel.

The 29 incher: The mother of all bags. You have the ex-husband, who fits nicely inside, along with the ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend/ex-lover, the step kids and real kids and then there is still room for the loony bin! For those long trips where you just need some peace and quiet, pack it all in here and take that much-needed vacation from life.

Once you’ve chosen a size to store all your excess crap, neuroses, issues, problems, trials, tribulations, ex’s and psychoses please try and fit it all in the overhead compartment and hope it doesn’t fall out and on your head due to turbulence.  Personally, I find that having every size works well. After all, you never know if it will be a short trip or a long trip!!

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