Anal sex is often a taboo subject for women looking to experiment in the bedroom. They are often afraid that it will hurt, that it will cause physical damage, or that like having too much vaginal sex, it can cause your anus to be stretched out. Here, we’ve collected and debunked a few myths about anal sex, penis size, and the relationship between the two.
Myth 1: 5 Inches = Small Penis.
This is one of the most common myths that have to be debunked. Between 5-7 inches is actually considered average. A study done early in 2015 concluded that after measuring the flaccid and erect penis lengths of over 15,000 men around the world, the average penis length is actually closer to 5.16 inches when erect. Only about 2.28% of the population has what would be considered an ‘abnormally small’ penis, and on the other end of the spectrum, only about 2% of the population has an abnormally large one.
Myth 2: Anal Sex Always Hurts.
This is one myth that should be debunked as often and as loudly as possible. As with any other sexual technique, if it hurts, you’re doing it wrong and you could be causing a great amount of physical harm if you continue trying to push through the pain.’ Anal sex can be enjoyed without pain by adding two things: ample lubrication and clitoral stimulation.
Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own natural lubrication. If you’ve ever had an Indian Burn as a child (where someone rubs the skin of your forearm until it’s red and irritated) then you know how painful unlubricated anal sex can be. If you’ve got time for cleanup afterward, consider investing in a good quality silicone based lubricant, because it doesn’t dry out as fast as its water-based counterpart. (Note: If you’re using toys in your anal play, only use water-based lubricants. Silicone based lubricants can damage some toys, making them dangerous to use.)
Adding clitoral stimulation can also help make anal sex easier and more enjoyable, because it encourages the woman to relax.
Myth 3: Bigger is Always Better
Bigger is most definitely not always better when it comes to anal sex, no matter what your favorite porn star may portray on the screen. In fact, average sized penises (refer to Myth 1) are actually better for anal sex.
There have been no studies done on this subject, but there are plenty of forms in which people have discussed this vary topic. While it is always going to be a matter of personal preference, the general consensus is that an average or small sized penis with a thinner girth is ideal for anal sex. It all depends on what your partner likes.
Myth 4: Don’t Mind the Speed Limit
Again, this is one of those myths where you should take everything you’ve ever seen in your favorite porn and throw it out the window. Anal sex, especially the first few times, will take patience while you and your partner figure out what works for you, and how to complete the act without damaging either one of you.
Some things you could try to help make your first anal sex encounter easier include:
- Communicate! Make sure you keep an open line of dialog between you and your partner, so you know what is enjoyable and what hurts and can adjust accordingly.
- Take it slow. Even if that means moving a half-centimeter at a time, do whatever it takes to make sure that anal sex isn’t painful.
- Don’t forget the lube. We’ve mentioned this before, but it is important enough to be mentioned again. No lube = painful anal sex. Painful sex is not going to make her want to try it more than once.
- Use condoms. Lubricated condoms can actually make anal sex more comfortable. That doesn’t mean you should neglect the lube. Condoms should be use in addition to the lube of your choice. And speaking of lube…
- USE PLAIN LUBE! Don’t try to get fancy by picking up one of those lubes that creates heating or cooling sensations or something like that. Plain old unscented lube is best for anal sex. What might feel good for vaginal sex (i.e. KY Yours and Mine or other similar products) will probably not feel good for anal sex.
Anal sex is a great way to spice things up in the bedroom, and is often more enjoyable for men who have average or smaller than average penises.