Children And Parenting | My Pre-Divorce Chronicles

This Single Mother’s Day

May 11, 2012 By Lee Block 2 Comments

When you are a single mom, every day is mother’s day. And by that I mean that every day you are MOM. Not that you aren’t MOM everyday when you have a spouse or significant other, but at least when you have someone else there, you get a break, and when you don’t, well, you don’t. There isn’t anyone to take the kids to buy those Mother’s Day’s cards or gifts or help make the breakfast in bed or even take them off your hands for a few hours. It’s just another day when you are MOM and the best you can hope for is that your kids won’t fight and will keep the house semi-clean.

And, then I discovered this poem by Michelle Ailene True, and immediately started to do some research on her because I just knew I had to share this with my single mom readers. Michelle is a published author, mentor, radio talk show host, poetry and magazine blog publisher. I wrote her an email and she was lovely when I asked her if I could publish her poem on my site. She asked for nothing in return, but I am going to ask that you go to her site and if you love poetry, check out her books of poems, True Reflections, True Emotions and True Identities. And, no, I get nothing for them, I just think one good turn deserves another. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Children and Parenting 2 Comments

I Get Jealous, I Admit It

April 11, 2012 By Lee Block 12 Comments

I admit it. I get jealous when I see happy families frolicking about together, the dad laughing with the kids, holding their hands or wiping their faces or comforting them. The kids playing while the parents talk about their day, so comfortable with each other and untied as one family. It’s hard when you don’t have that and haven’t had that for so long or ever had that.

Let’s get personal again, shall we? I am “married”. Well, for all intents and purposes I am married. At least, I have a piece of paper that says I’m married. Here’s the kicker, my “husband” and I don’t seem to ever see each other. We used to see each other. But as time has gone on, the times between together and not together have become longer and longer, and now, it’s pretty pathetic. [Read more...]

The Bully Project: Just Say “No” To Bullying

April 9, 2012 By Lee Block 6 Comments

Thanks to The Bully Project for sponsoring my writing. Visit their website to join the movement and learn more.

The Bully Project, set to release in select theaters on March 30, highlights an important issue that is taking place to over 13 million children in our country today, and that is bullying.

But, what happens when the bullying is taken a step further in the schools and a teacher does it to a student? This film is so important in highlighting the affects that bullying has between children, but the story that I want to share shows a different perspective to bullying within the school system.

Imagine a girl, who is slightly shy and not as outgoing or athletic as the other children. Some of the kids in her class might even classify her as “different” because she does not go with the flow and follows her own path. Everyday at the same time, her feet start to drag as she heads toward the gym to PE, knowing that she has to face the one bully who has been making her miserable all year.

A young male coach, an Olympian, has singled her out by calling her lazy, unmotivated, disrespectful, grabbing her roughly by the arm and leaving bruises, postponing the class to force her to stand up while the others sit and watch, while he tells has her do push-ups and sit-ups in front of everyone, knowing she will fail, and telling her she will fail.

This girl has run out of the gym in tears and fear. The administration has blamed this girl for leaving the gym without permission, as opposed to showing concern upon finding her curled up in a corner of the bathroom floor crying. When this coach got bored with picking on this child his bullying started to extend to the entire class, and all the parents started to take action, so this one single parent no longer had to stand alone against the entire administration of the school.

After much investigation, it was discovered that this man’s behavior was happening in other classes and other schools he was teaching at. This man that came with a stellar resume and recommendations was bullying children. This man who was an Olympian for the United States and had such a winning smile. And now, this man who had no job.

If you suspect your child is being bullied, either by another child, a teacher or anybody, please advocate for your child. Go to the head of the school, go to the board, go to whomever you have to go to and fight for your children, because they are our future, and bullying should not be tolerated by anyone…anywhere.

I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. Find showings in your area for The Bully Project and buy tickets here.

Filed Under: Advice and Opinion, Children and Parenting 6 Comments

Single Mom’s are You a Statistic?

April 3, 2012 By Suzanne Cramer 2 Comments

I am a single mom and have been one for the past 7 years. Raising a child on my own has been tough, especially financially. Anyone that has children knows the expenses that go along with them. The staggering number of dollars it costs to raise a child is enough to make even the most financially savvy person cringe.

According to the U.S.D.A. Expenditures on Children report, it now costs an average middle-income American family $222,360 to raise a child from birth to 18. Yikes, and that figure does not even include college! While I do receive some child support it is not nearly enough to help me cover those expenses let a lone save for college.

So, am I statistic because of my gender and the fact that I have a child? Let’s take a look at why more women than men seek debt help. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Advice and Opinion, Children and Parenting, Finances 2 Comments

Child Support, Dead Beat Dads and Appalling Behavior

April 2, 2012 By Lee Block 6 Comments

Image Courtesy of searchquotes.com

The other morning I was driving home after dropping the kids off at school, and the typical morning show was on the radio, you know the one with the annoying DJ’s who think they are funny but are actually irritating? I generally don’t listen to them, but the female DJ was talking about divorce and child support, so I turned up the volume to hear what she had to say, and I was appalled at what I heard.

On the line were two women, one was a divorced mother of 3 and the other was the girlfriend of her ex-husband. Apparently, the divorced mother had asked the radio station to contact the girlfriend to “warn” her that the ex was a deadbeat dad and that he didn’t pay child support.

The Jerry Springer of Radio Show’s

Needless to say, what ensued was worthy of a Jerry Springer episode, with the girls yelling at each other and the female DJ at a loss trying to control the situation. It was truly disgusting and also obvious. My coaching instincts kicked in, and I wanted to take the mother and give her a good shake and ask her what the heck was wrong with her!

Eventually the girlfriend hung up the phone, and the female DJ got the ex-wife to admit that the only reason why she wanted to confront the girlfriend was to ruin the relationship with the ex-husband. After all, he wasn’t paying for her kids, why should he be happy? SERIOUSLY?! Does one thing have anything to do with the other?

Jealousy is Ugly

They don’t call jealousy the green-eyed monster for nothing. It is one ugly emotion, and that girl was showing it all over the place. In fact, I felt sorry for the ex-husband, whether he paid child support or not, it was hard to take her side when she was screaming that he got her pregnant on purpose after they had been married for a year – guess she didn’t know how sex worked or what a condom was – and how he was just going to get the girlfriend pregnant and then there would be half-siblings running around and she didn’t want her kids to have half-siblings.

It didn’t matter that the girlfriend said they had no plans for children or even marriage, and more importantly, the girlfriend made it very clear she had no idea what his situation was with his ex and that was between the two of them and that she needed to work it out with him, and leave her out of it. Yes, I was cheering her on at this point.

If You Don’t Ask, You Can’t Get

But, here is the worst part of the entire exchange. Are you sitting down? The ex-wife never asked, got a court order or filed papers for child support. Not once. I guess she thought that a miracle would happen and the child support fairy was going to show up every month with a check.

The DJ, who knew nothing and admitted she didn’t have a clue how to get child support, did say she was baffled as to why this gal had never filed for child support. This gal just didn’t have an answer to the question. Finally some common sense called in, in the form of a paralegal, who told the girl that you don’t need to do anything but go to the Texas Child Support website and file a request and they do the rest, and in about two months, bingo…child support will start to show up because it will be taken out of his paycheck.

And, in the state of Texas, if you quit your job to try to get out of paying child support, your boss has to inform the Texas Child Support Agency and your new employer has to as well and the support is then taken out of that paycheck, because Texas don’t play when it comes to paying for your kids!

The Moral of the Story

Well, I guess the moral of the story would be this…

Don’t go on a radio show acting like a jealous ass, no matter how hurt, angry, bitter, disappointed, upset or depressed you are over your divorce. If your ex has moved on or found someone else, as hard as it is and as trite as this sounds, you are probably better off, and if you aren’t getting child support because you haven’t taken the action you need to take to get it… call your local child support office and find out what you need to do and take action!

Filed Under: Advice and Opinion, Children and Parenting 6 Comments

In Her Words: FATHER

March 30, 2012 By Guest Post 1 Comment

Someone there, but no one ever really around
An invisible space in my family picture but filled in everyone else’s family picture
Like an invisible force to argue against you and push you around but never to care for you
Like tress in the wind he falls off like I am the bark and he is the leaf
He starts to fall gently but hits the ground hard. Hard. Hard like his heart.
The wind that blows him from the tree to the ground is cold. Cold. Cold like his heart.
1/10 of my heart is open
9/10′s of my heart are filled with people who love me and who I love back
That 1/10 has not been filled by him
Just so you know, I know there was 10 spaces in my heart because I did the math
Once upon a time
The end