Only Count What Truly Counts in Life

July 2, 2012 By 2 Comments

Counting in LifeI have been doing some deep thinking lately about what truly counts in life. My kids, my parents, my brother and his soon to be wife.  My friends, my community, my health, my sanity. These are things that count, things that matter, things that are important.  These are not the small things, these are the huge all consuming take your breath away can’t live without things. These things count in life.

And, the flip side is the things that don’t count. The things that don’t matter and that in the end aren’t worth the time, the tears or the sweat that are wasted on them. These are things that I have said to myself, seriously…what were you thinking?!

If you read me regularly, I have always been a big believer in counting your blessings, and I still am, but this time, I am going to go backwards and count the things in my life that I am not going to count anymore.  So, without further ado…

Things that no longer count in my life

  1. My divorces. I am not going to count how many times I’ve been divorced. Whether it has been three times or thirty times, it just doesn’t matter, because my past is what has made me into the person I am today.
  2. All attempts at reinvention. Even though I started over a bazillion gazillion times I have never really reinvented myself, I just circled back around. This time I am doing it my way and wiping the slate so clean it sparkles. Reinventing is not a do-over it is a makeover, and I now realize that I have just done over and not made over.
  3. My looks. From now on, if I can’t get by on my winning personality and my stellar brainpower, then I am shit outta luck. QUIT LAUGHING OVER THERE!
  4. Anything materialistic. I am now going to live a Zen lifestyle that is going to be paired down to the bare minimum needs. It’s interesting when you are shaking out couch cushions; you realize that things don’t matter. I have my children, my friends and my family, what else do I need?
  5. Whining. Not just mine, but also everyone’s whining. I am now immune to the whine. The tone, the sound, the pitch, the tenor, the content and the reason. Whining no longer counts, if you need to whine, find someone who can count it in their lives.
  6. Calories. I can’t afford to count calories in my life. I weigh a whopping 85 pounds and I intend to eat everything I can even though every single thing will probably trigger my migraines.
  7.  My age. Most days I feel as old as dirt, but from now on, I am not going to count each year as it passes me by and instead celebrate it as another year that I survived as an independent woman standing on my own two feet.
  8. My mistakes. If I were to continue to count up the mistakes I have made, I would be sitting in the same spot forever, so from now on, I am going to know that my mistakes were just opportunities to learn and hope that I don’t make them again, and if I do, what is the worst thing that will happen? Life will still carry on!
  9.  Gray Hairs. Yes, I do color over these, but I am also going to quit counting how they come about. All of the disappointments, disasters, downfalls and what was I thinking are no longer counting. From now on, living in the moment and accepting things as they come along and learning from them while they do.
  10. My chickens before they have hatched. This is a big one for me because I’m a planner, so from now on it is living one day at a time. It’s a process, but it’s also time to quit counting.

What are you going to quit counting?

Filed Under: Advice and Opinion, Empowerment 2 Comments
Lee Brochstein About Lee Brochstein

Lee Brochstein is a certified professional divorce coach, blogger, a well-known author and a nationally known expert from her appearances on television and radio talk shows. She enjoys alliteration, Mad Men, Big Bang, mixed breeds, vanilla lattes, red wine and her kids when they aren’t killing each other. Follow her on twitter and Facebook.

  • Greg

    Good for you, Lee. I’ve arrived at many of the same realizations. We are all too hard on ourselves, I think, and I’m trying to learn to laugh at stuff instead of taking it all soooo seriously. Life and love are mysterious, unpredictable, often unfair, but ultimately an adventure. If you think of your life as a story, some of these events and mishaps can even be thought of as making it more interesting… a real page-turner! How boring would it be if our entire life went smoothly, without incident, exactly according to plan? I wouldn’t read that book OR go see the movie! So allow me to raise a toast to the mistakes, the screw-ups, the gray hairs, the empty calories, and all of the rich life experiences we are having the privilege of experiencing.
    Oh, and P.S.: Get real… you still do have your looks. You’re just not seeing yourself as others do right now. ; )

  • Michele

    Nice post..a nice angle on counting your blessings. Life really is too short to get hung up on the minutia. I know its easier said than done, though. I take it one day at a time!