The statistics show that second and third marriages have a higher rate of divorce than first marriages, which is already at 50%. What does this mean if you do get remarried a second or even a third time? It means that you need to know that this is a person you truly want to spend your life with and that you hopefully have learned from your previous choices.
An Alternative Path to Finding Love
I know an alternative path to finding love after divorce. Do you want to hear it? It’s pretty out there and some of you are going to balk at it and might even disagree and unsubscribe. So, unless you can keep an open mind, you might want to click away now.
You’re still here? Thank you for you for being brave enough to hear me out! Bi-Coastal. Think about it for a second. Today, so many relationships take place in separate cities for all kinds of reasons, whether it’s the economy, the military or a job. The best reason is because you have two families that live in two cities and because of the ages of the children can’t be blended into one, and it’s just in everyone’s best interest to keep it all separate.
The Proof is in The Pudding
I have three case studies to present, each couple is on their third marriage and they all have one thing in common. They all live in separate states for at least 50% of the time.
- Couple Number 1 has been married for five years. Two years in, papers were filed and a divorce seemed imminent, until one of the spouses moved. They mended the relationship and it seems to work. He splits his time about 70% in the state that she lives in and 30% in the state that he lives in, which is where is primary office and children are located. His children are not involved in his marriage and hers are involved in their marriage. Today they are thriving in their bi-coastal marriage.
- Couple Number 2 has been married for almost three years. From the beginning of the relationship they have lived in separate states. Opposite of couple number one, he spend 70% of his time in the state where his job and children live and 30% of his time where his spouse and her children live. His children and her children have never met and are not involved in each other’s lives or marriages. She does not have a relationship with his children and he is very close to her children. Although there has been some adjustment and rocky times, they have reached a routine that seems to be working for them, and they are thriving.
- Couple Number 3 has been married for almost 6 years. She lives in one state with her children and he lives in another with his children. On her off weekends, she flies to see him and on his off weekends, he flies to see her. They take vacations together, when they both have custody or when neither has custody. Both sets of children know their stepparents and have good relationships with them. They spend time together with and without all kids, some kids and no kids. Each maintains both lives together and separately. Although her job and her children are keeping her in a separate city, she is trying to find a way to move to be in the same city as him, as he is unable to move, but in the meantime, they are very happy with the arrangement they have and are thriving.
As Mikey Says, “Try It You May Like It”
I’m by no means saying that you have to live in other cities to make it work, but what I am saying is that when you have been there done that before, you should leave yourself open to all possibilities and take yourself outside of your comfort zone.
Running a dating site, which by the way you can join for just .99 right now (nudge, nudge), is that I see people who aren’t open to meeting other divorced men and women that live in other states. What I hear is, it’s too difficult to make it work or that it doesn’t fit into their schedule. Here’s the thing to remember, you are now in charge of your destiny, and the best thing about being divorced is that you get to be in charge.
The best thing about long distance or bi-coastal or part time or whatever you want to call it is that you still get to keep your independence and be in charge, while at the same time you get to share your life and bed with someone. It’s a win-win. Just something or you to think about if you’re ready to tackle the dating path to finding love after divorce.