Divorce Coaching: Helping to Heal After Divorce

Divorce Coaching - Time to HealYour divorce is over. You’re tired of feeling depressed, worried and tired.  Believe it or not, that is good news!

That means it’s time to heal after divorce. Taking the time to heal is all about you. It’s about your needs, your desires – it’s both selfish and selfless and it’s an integral part of the process as you move into the empowerment phase.

Time to heal is not just about where you are at this moment in time. It does not measure a minute or hour on the clock; rather, it’s all about being ready. Ready to take that leap into wellness and embrace moving forward with your life.  Taking the time to heal is not something you can’t afford.  It is something you can’t afford not to do. Trust me when I tell you that being a divorce coach isn’t a fast track to riches. It’s a tough way to make a living and the people who do it are generally pretty passionate about helping people get their lives back on track. People who are divorced or getting divorced are typically out of money, but desperately in need of help.

So what do they do? They use the Internet. They visit blogs and forums and other groups. They listen, they ask questions and hopefully they also get answers. They muddle through the best way they can, hoping that the next day or the day after that, they’ll wake up and feel better.

Sometimes they do wake up and feel better and sometimes they don’t. But when you find yourself waking up on a day-to-day basis and not feeling better, it’s time to get serious and get some help. You can’t put a price on health.

The TIME process is something I address in my book, Re-Singled, 12 Truths, Half-Truths and Untruths of Divorce.  It’s a way to heal and start becoming a new you. Want to know more?

T.I.M.E. – Tough love, Inner work, Makeover and Energy

Tough Love:  The decision to divorce or the act of divorce is nothing but the beginning of the road to healing. Healing is not about applying a bandage and some ointment and going along your merry and now-healed way. Healing is about doing some very hard work that includes digging deep and acknowledging where your limiting beliefs, your judgments and your actions may not have represented your best self.

I am the master of tough love. Call it a gift or call it a curse, but it is what it is. I don’t beat around the bush and don’t allow my clients to do it either. I also don’t put up with lame excuses or time wasters. And that’s why people hire me!

Inner Work:  You have all heard of the quote, “no guts no glory?”  That is what inner work is, and it all depends on you. Only you can get yourself through this in a positive, life affirming and healing way. You are stronger and more powerful than you know and no matter what you think, you will be able to dig deep to heal those wounds. Where do I come in to help you with your inner work? I will help you recognize the patterns and emotions that have gotten you to the point at which you stand right now, but it will be up to you to find those patterns deep down and make those changes.

Inner work is an ongoing daily process. You can’t slack off or forget to do your homework. You have to be committed – note that this is also where some tough love comes into play – but the end result of peace, contentment, fulfillment and happiness will be worth it. Every day you will see a change for the better – trust me, I’ve been there.

Makeover:  I am not talking about a trip to the salon or the gym, although that would be lovely, but instead, I’m talking about an inner makeover. Through the inner work, you’ll now recognize what doesn’t work for you and the makeover is all about making the changes to what does work for you.  How do you now make the changes to what does work for you now?

This is where the coaching comes in. As part of our work together, we’ll set up a plan and goals that are achievable and realistic. Each goal will have steps that will lead you from point A to point B, and when you reach the target of point B, you’ll feel so empowered, that the enthusiasm to move to the next goal will be real. You will have tackled the issues at the core and overcome them, and you can’t get better healing than that!

Energy:  Physically, emotionally, logistically and financially are just some of the tolls that divorce takes on your energy. Energy is not limitless, because if it was we would all be superhuman and, sadly, we are just plain human. In order to heal, we must use our energy in every single aspect of the time process though. How do we do this?

Channel your energy into productive things like letting go and working on yourself.  Resist the urge to fight change or give away your power to people or situations that do not serve you.  Don’t worry, as your coach, I keep you energized and on track when I see you slipping, and slipping is normal, so don’t waste your energy on beating yourself up when you do, and you probably will.

It’s okay to take some step backwards; this is why you have a coach, to keep urging you forwards.  And, the payoff of TIME is huge.

When Does the Healing of TIME Begin?

Why not now? If you’re tired of feeling depressed, worried, lacking in confidence, tired … or a myriad of other emotions that are a part of life after divorce, now is as good of a time as any, isn’t it?

And a divorce coach can help you make take that first step and begin the journey. When you work with me, you hire me to get a job done, and that is what I will help you do, get the job done. I will be the best friend you love to hate. And when our work together is done, you’ll thank me.

There’s a brand New Year coming up and isn’t it TIME to heal??  Whether you work with me or someone else, I say the time is NOW!

Lee Brochstein About Lee Brochstein

Lee Brochstein is a certified professional divorce coach, blogger, a well-known author and a nationally known expert from her appearances on television and radio talk shows. She enjoys alliteration, Mad Men, Big Bang, mixed breeds, vanilla lattes, red wine and her kids when they aren’t killing each other. Follow her on twitter and Facebook.