Post-Divorce Depression

post divorce depressionPOST-DIVORCE STRESS SYNDROME!!  This is the hardest part of divorce.  Figuring out the “What now?”  After all, you thought you had it all figured out, but then the child support check is always late, your ex doesn’t always take the kids on his or her weekends, and you are always left holding the bag.  You cry, you scream, you rail on the unfairness of being a single divorced parent and having to do it all.  But, isn’t this what you were singing about earlier that month?

What is Post-Divorce Stress Syndrome?  Well, it is a lot like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and you can even compare it to Post-partum stress.  It’s the fall after the elation.  Is this a medical term?  I don’t think so.  It’s my term, and it will be used freely and often on this blog.  In fact, I encourage you to use it as well!

The papers have been signed, sealed and stamped by a Judge.  You are officially no longer a Mrs.  Your life seems to be ticking along nicely.  You have figured out this new sense of freedom…and then it happens.

The crash.  Or, post divorce stress syndrome.  Post divorce depression.  You are alone.  You may be alone with kids, which just makes life ten times harder.  You start to worry if you can afford the house you so desperately had to have in the divorce.  The first set of bills comes in, and they are higher than you expected.  You are on call with your kids 24/7.  You have to cook, clean, drive the kids, make the lunches, do the laundry and work.  Your nails are ruined, your make up has run off, your credit cards start to add up, and your hair is stringy and greasy, because you can’t find time to take a shower.

Although Post Divorce Stress Syndrome might not be a real medical term, it is a real side affect of being divorced.  It involves stress, post divorce depression, trouble sleeping and lots of crying in the bathroom with the door locked.  How do you overcome it?


There is no quick fix for this.  It could involve counseling.  It could involve lots of bubble baths and me time.  It could involve taking long drives by yourself with your favorite CD playing in the background.  It could involve reading this blog and getting great tips and hints on how to overcome.

However you choose to master this syndrome, be assured it CAN be mastered and life WILL get better.

Are you suffering from Post Divorce Stress Syndrome?  What is the best way for you to deal with those stressful days when you think you just can’t do it anymore as a single person?

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Lee Brochstein About Lee Brochstein

Lee Brochstein is a certified professional divorce coach, blogger, a well-known author and a nationally known expert from her appearances on television and radio talk shows. She enjoys alliteration, Mad Men, Big Bang, mixed breeds, vanilla lattes, red wine and her kids when they aren’t killing each other. Follow her on twitter and Facebook.

  • Stephen


  • Mandy

    Taking it one day at a time is good advice. Also get your support network in place – that might be other moms you can car pool with to the handyman who will do the home repair jobs for you. I would also take a look at everyone’s schedule to see if there are any activities that could be dropped. That helps to lighten the load and gives you flexibility for unforeseen events.

    • PostDivorceCoach

      Mandy: Absolutely on having a network in place! I can’t count the number of times I have had to call for back up!!


  • Big Little Wolf

    It’s affirming to see this acknowledged. Sadly, for some of us, this goes on for years. For too many years, as the result of things that we find out – the hard way – may be out of our control.

    The hardest part is accepting that what you thought came with freedom was greater control over your future, and that of your children. Sometimes it isn’t the case – which leads us to realize how many systems we have to “fix” in this country. No easy solution, but clarity that the need exists.

    And when women (especially) begin speaking of these things, perhaps we’ll find a way to do something about them, eventually.

    • Lee Block

      Wouldn’t it be wonderful if women ruled the world and we could fix all of these issues? I think the world would be such a happier friendlier place!

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  • Alicia Kiesling

    I wentto the gym consantly they had a day care it gave me an hr a day to collect my thoughts get alone time and better my health I don’t know what woulda happened if I didn’t.

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  • DUI evaluation

    Thank you for sharing all these posts. Your advices are really very useful and have helped my sister through her own divorce. Several others undergoing such difficult process will benefit from these. Keep your posts coming!